Israel’s ‘miracle healer’ says he thwarted Gaza rockets

(IT) Oren Zarif, an Israeli “miracle healer” who claims to have psychic powers, told Israel’s Ynet news portal this week that he has done as much, if not more, than the Iron Dome anti-missile system to thwart Hamas missiles coming from Gaza.

Addressing the rocket-battered residents of southern Israel, Zarif said, “You have nothing to worry about. In another day or two it will all be over. Oren Zarif is returning to your area to influence the situation.”

Zarif said he gives full credit to the Israeli army for doing a great job, but insists that Israel owes him just as much thanks.

“I see all these politicians thanking this and thanking that, but giving no credit to Oren Zarif,” said the controversial figure, as his interviewer chuckled quietly next to him. “You need to understand, when you see missiles falling harmlessly into open area, this is happening because Oren Zarif is operating in unconventional ways.”

Getting biblical for a second, Zarif noted that all those who come against Israel end up losing. “The people of Israel are a chosen people,” he said. “The people of Israel have a spiritual and mystic connection to God, who loves and protects them.”

Beyond downing missiles, Zarif said he has created a complete psychokinetic warfare program that also includes telepathically informing Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu on how and where to fight the enemy.

When asked by his amused hosts why he doesn’t telepathically influence the leader of Hamas, Oren said it is much more difficult because he “only speaks Arabic.”

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